Dear Dee.
Today’s “church” came late in the day. The noise level has been so high it was difficult for me to read or concentrate. I can no longer go to the chapel because they’re holding some kind of meetings in there. So I had to wait for a quieter time, which didn’t come until 2:30.
In lieu of a sermon, I read two articles from CLF’s Quest. Their theme this month is forgiveness and both articles talked about how forgiveness of one’s self is often more difficult than forgiving others. I feel guilt on so many levels. First, that my daughter, K, had to be hit with this right in the middle of her pregnancy. And then there was the terrible effect that it had on the other kids who looked up to me, S and C. There has been a lot of mental self-kicking since then and I don’t feel I have made a lot of progress toward forgiving myself. But one of the positives in all this is that I have been calling K every week since it happened and that has strengthened our relationship. I believe I will continue this practice for the rest of my life.
In “Finding God,” I found another kindred spirit in Mordecai Kaplan who rejects God as a supernatural being, viewing it instead as a process. He sees prayer as an ability to express one’s own wishes. Sounds good to me.
All for now,
Love, Kent
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