Friday, February 3, 2017

Thank you, Rev. Alexander

Saturday, October 6, 2012
Dear Dee:
                Saturday morning. Gray and hazy. The unit is quieter than usual, thanks to the number of men out on the rec yard this morning. I thought it wise to take advantage of the relative calm and begin my Sunday letter to you a day early.

                Thank you for “outing” me on A Congregation of One. I think you stated my case well when you said the “anonymity made him feel less than genuine.” That says it all.

                As always, it is fascinating to read my own words from the distance that time provides. While the thoughts, feelings, and emotions are all too familiar, the words seem new to me. With total detachment, I can regard some words, phrases and paragraphs and consider how they might have been better rendered; at other times, I can admire the beauty of a well-turned passage.

                The sermon well is once again growing shallow. After I consume tomorrow’s, I will have two left – still plenty of time for you to mine some more of them.

                Okay, per your request, a few words on the subject of depression. It is sadness squared. It is as though a tremendous weight is pressing down on me and the simple act of getting out of bed in the morning is almost beyond consideration. It is as though someone has thrown a thick quilt over you, rendering your world dark and airless. Hopelessness turns to despair and all joy is wrung from you like water from a sponge. It is difficult – almost impossible, really – to see beyond this black point in your life to a time when you might once again regard the world as a welcome place. It’s not difficult to understand how people in this condition can embrace death as a release. It’s not a place to which you ever want to go; not a place to which I ever want to return. Does that do it for you?

                I have consumed 61 books since the one by Ruben “Hurricane” Carter, so the details are a little hazy. It was last March. I recall that he had a strong message but that he had attempted the book without help from anyone else and the prose was clumsy and not very engaging. What made you think of that? I put a grade beside each book in my reading log and I have “Eye of the Hurricane” a C-.

                If you are able and so inclined, could you use the enclosed page to order a crossword book for me? I go through them quite quickly; at the rate of about three puzzles a day. I hate to keep asking you for things but I do want to keep that old “brain tingle” going.

Sunday, October 7, 2012 – “Church”
                Today’s sermon, “May Your Pillow Catch Fire” by Scott Alexander, is one of the most eloquent and deeply passionate that I’ve read yet. Thank you for sending it.

                It affected me on a very personal level because its message spoke directly to me; this at a time when I still wrestle with the guilt, shame, and self-loathing that stems from the crime that led to my incarceration. Alexander’s central theme is beautiful in its simplicity: one must feel good about one’s self before one is able to express much goodness toward others. Despite its stark simplicity, this idea has been eluding me.

                As you know, it is my aim to pay my karmic debt by being of service to others, both here and when I am released. The sermon drives home the importance of forgiving myself and healing from these self-inflicted wounds in preparation for leading a better, more positively focused and productive life. It will require a deeper level of self-awareness than I have employed in my life to date. I honestly believe if I had attained this awareness of self earlier and kept myself plugged into it, I would not have done what I did. I simply would not have been capable of it.

                Alexander said, “When you turn your back or withhold goodness and decency from some fellow human being, you undoubtedly do so from some wounded, broken, or insecure place in your soul.” I have searched for the words to explain how I could have done such a horrible thing. I think I have found them in that simply stated sentence.

                The sermon also stresses the importance of passing the values of compassion and decency on to our children, not just in what we say but in what we do. We need to model it for them. I hope I have done that with my children and that my aberrant behavior has not negated all that went before.

                This sermon was a real barn-burner and it has provided me with a wealth of food for thought.

                As I reached for Dr. Fleck’s book, I stopped myself, deciding that I wanted to let Alexander’s words sit with me and not muddy the waters. So I’ll return to Fleck next week. For now, I’ll let Scott Alexander’s message simmer and take root. (Pardon the mixed metaphor!)

                Time again to close.

Love, Steve

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